September 23, 2012

grandmothers heartache

Filed under: Secret family courts — Granarchist @ 3:46 pm

Well my grandkids were taking in to care on the 19th of nov 2010 and are now in long term foster care as they were put up for adoption but the judge put a 6months deadline which thet were unable to do .How it all started was my son had finished with his ex but it took us 15long months to get her to leave the house socail services came in to our lives because his oldest child went in to school upset and told the teacher his mum hurts him which was true and we had spoke to socail services about it and they would say it was a acident the final straw was when she pushed him of the chair and banged his head on the floor my son called the police it took them awhile to come so when they came they had to wake the little one up and because they spoke to him when his mum was present they put it down to a acident yet .So my son had enough of they way she was behaveing towards him and his oldest child put her out we had a meeting with socail worker the head teacher myself my son and his ex. He told them that he was going to family court to get a order for the kids to stay with him which both his ex and the socail worker agreed on so that is what he did the night before he went to court which was the 9nov the judge agreed that the kids were to stay with him and the mother was to get suppervised visits 1 aweek and he was to go back to court in 2weeks to get a full order and that is where our night mare began as his ex had asked him the night before court to take her back and he said no 2days later the police came to the door not just 1 or 2 a couple of vans loaded to arrest my son on a charge of assualt on his ex which he spent 2 weeks in prison for and i had the kids when they informed his ex that my son would be getting out and that it was looking like the case was going to be flung out she then signed the kids over to socail services and they picked the kids up at school came to the house and left the kids in the car and told me that they were takeing the kids and never told me that there mum had signed them over led me to believe it was my fault said because of my health and that i was unable to look after them which was aload of bull as even the school said that they had no concearings about them .Then it all went down hill from there as the next thing we know is she then made all these other stuff up that he had suppose to have done to her .He was cleared at the crown court of the assult but the family courts said it dose matter if he got cleared the said it is possible he done it so he must have 1 of the other assults that she calaimed was that he had hit her full force on the face with a 20kg and 7foot long wieghts bar but she did not need to seek medical help as she had no marks or cuts and guess what the asked if he had wieghts and he has so they said he did it .I forgot to say the assult that she claimed he did to her was supposed to have happened in the begin of oct which we can prove she was not living here at the time and which she did not report until after he was given the kids in nov but it gets better did not go and seek medical help till the jan and tried to blame him for bruises that she had on her arms but admitted not seeing him in 6months and the family courts said she must be telling the truth and my son was not allowed to get his kids back at the start of the case they they tried to say i was scared of him and he would tell me what to do but now they are saying we are overclose .We only get to see the kids now 2 a year they keep asking them where they want to live and for 2 years the have said with there dad .They did say in court that they had no concears of him hitting his kids but she was found facted on 6 heavy handed assults on his oldest but said he might hit them when they get older and rebel against him there is alot more i can tell you but i donot want to bore yous .The family courts would not even look at his evidence he had


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  1. just to say me and my family have just gone through a similar thing, my ex daughter in law had her first child, she was staying between me and her mum, she came to our house one day, midwife came to weigh her baby, because we live untidly and like scruffs, she reported us to social services, she was put in a b and b, which had no heating or hot water, this was in winter too! after a few weeks they were moved to our town in their own house, but ss was still on their case because she couldn’t cook or do basic housework etc… my son used to do the cooking when he got in from work and try to clean around them. they had another kid too, my ex daughter in law hated us going to see them, and my family used to say she wouldn’t let them in if they went and my son wasn’t home, but it was made a decision between us and ss we’d help her with the kids to give her time for herself, but she wouldn’t let us. my son and her split up, but he said he said she could stay in the same house with him until she sorted something out. after about a week he told me he still loved her and they were going to make a go of things, but beginning of last year she told ss he had raped her, he was arrested and let out on bail, he had to call the police about something and they told him they hadn’t got enough evidence to press charges. they moved her and kids back to her hometown saying they could help her more, my son paid maintenance and used to go see kids when he could, sometimes stay in a b and b to be able to spend more time with the kids. his ex was found wandering the streets assumingly under influence of drugs but she had a breakdown, ss adviced my son to put kids in foster care while they sorted things out, his solicitor has been all for the ss and not for my son through all this, my son has done everything ss has asked, but didn’t get his own house again because he lost the other house due to it being housing association and wasn’t allowed to keep it, and he had a big dept when he lost it, he didn’t want to get in dept again unless he was 100% sure he’d get the kids, which ss kept saying he wouldn’t. we said we wanted to adopt them if he couldn’t have them, but the report came back that we gave our daughter untowards attention and ply her with alcohol but they hadn’t followed through with it because of not enough evidence. we haven’t been questioned on this or seen a report, I work, (have since gave up my job to feeling guilty) my husband only worked for an agency, (now in full time work again) we have no debts, (which I do now due to not working) I breastfed my daughter till she was 3/4, I suffered with mastitis a lot and it helped to feed her and was also hard to get her off. she slept with us till a year ago because I had a home birth, ended up in hospital and she wouldn’t settle. midwife said she needed to be near me and put her in bed with me. so this stems from that. she now crys everynight she hates being in her own room and we have to leave her tv on, bedroom light landing light, we haven’t thought about her needs, just our own. my daughter wouldn’t be able to share our love and time between our grandkids, the grandkids would find it hard to settle with us, but i’m sure this was the case when they went in foster care and when they go into their adoption home, only difference is we’re family.
    we were adviced ss could help with making room and decorating etc… and because we asked if they’d help move the bathroom downstairs to turn our 3 bedroom house to a 4, this also went against us.
    my son’s solicitor told him if he didn’t sign his kids up for adoption, the judges would take ss side and he’d lose them anyway.
    her mum had the grandkids every weekend while this has been going on, in a 2 bedroom house and with her other daughter at home who suffers with schizophrenia. my son has signed the kids up for adoption because of the stress and lies of the ss and to save his kids anymore heartache of not being allowed to come home with him when he has had contact. it hurt to know i’ll never see my grandkids ever again, even though we never saw them much. I worry about the kind of family they’ll go to, we’ve brought our kids up to respect people, and with manners, never let them roam the streets, always took them out, never went out to partys without them. but I wonder if we have done right. I feel like I’ve failed them and my grandkids, and all because we don’t have a neat and tidy home.

    Comment by tess — May 13, 2013 @ 3:58 pm | Reply

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